I know I haven't posted in a while.
The thing is, I want these blogs to be a place of light, or at least a place where there is mostly positivity and frankly, I haven't been feeling to positive lately. I need to find a new neurologist because after seeing the current one for almost two years he still has no idea who I am or what my condition is (and I have to remind him every time I see him). Friends from the past have moved on, and I honestly don't blame them in the slightest. My life was essentially put on hold when I was 29 years old, while theirs continued to go on. I may still be aging, but I'm stuck in a kind of limbo. It is always frustrating when I can't plan for things when I don't know how I'm going to feel ahead of time.
Anyway the person I get most annoyed and frustrated with is myself. That doesn't do my mood any good. So I haven't been very talkative. And well, the holidays haven't always been the best (my dad died 30 years ago this year on the 23rd. Last year I had a spinal tap a few days after Christmas and wound up with a low pressure headache and couldn't sit up until well into January. So those are just two examples.). I try to have that feeling, but sometimes it seems like the harder I do, the less it comes.
But I am incredibly lucky. Something happened a few weeks ago, and I feel the need to share it because it helps explain just how lucky I actually am. I went with my sister and brother in law down to the Christmas Village they had set up in the city (around city hall this year, which was actually a great location.). While we were walking around, a man stopped me and was asking me to donate to this children's charity. When I said to him, "I'm sorry, I wish I could, but I'm on disability; I can't afford it." he looked at me like he didn't quite believe me, but still left me with a "Well, God bless you and have a Merry Christmas."
I felt a little like Scrooge from A Christmas Carol. But, its the truth that I can't afford to help, and I don't blame him one bit if he didn't believe me, because looking down at my boots, clothes, and LL Bean wool coat, I probably wouldn't have believed me either. But the thing is, all those things? My mom bought them for me. If she hadn't, I'd be wearing clothes from when I was 100 lbs. heavier, I don't even remember what the coat looked like that I wore when I was that heavy, but it wasn't in great shape anymore, and shoes with holes in them. Not to mention that I don't get enough to live on, so I would be living on the streets myself if it wasn't for my family. For the approximately six months between when I had to leave my job and before I was approved for social security I didn't have any insurance, so my mom (and then at one point posthumously my stepdad) paid my medical bills.
So I owe everything to my mom and my family. I wouldn't be anywhere without them, and especially her.
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Monday, October 31, 2016
So it's Halloween
I live in a quiet neighborhood, so there isn't going be much going on. There aren't any kids that live on our street (well, there is one family, but they don't Trick or Treat on our street, they go somewhere else. If I would hazard a guess I would say a few blocks down where the families are younger. I say "blocks" but we don't really have blocks, just long streets and then streets that come off of them where some go to cul-de-sacs. We also don't have sidewalks. A few blocks down they do have sidewalks. I'm telling you, where I live can be a little weird. So....yeah...)
I celebrated on Saturday at my sister's annual Halloween party. It was cool, except for the fact that I felt like death warmed over on Sunday. Ok, reading that sentence back that is kinda funny...other than it didn't feel funny. I can't even drink alcohol, so I couldn't blame a hangover. Nope, just my normal migraines and cat allergies.
So, I just wanted to let anyone reading this know: I wish I was one of those people who could go out and have a great social life; do things like Quizzo or clubs (and why isn't Team Pictionary/Win, Lose or Draw more popular than it actually is???), but I never really know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next. How bad my head is going to hurt, how worn out my meds are going to make me, etc. So these blogs I have are really my only connection to everyone in the outside world.
I celebrated on Saturday at my sister's annual Halloween party. It was cool, except for the fact that I felt like death warmed over on Sunday. Ok, reading that sentence back that is kinda funny...other than it didn't feel funny. I can't even drink alcohol, so I couldn't blame a hangover. Nope, just my normal migraines and cat allergies.
So, I just wanted to let anyone reading this know: I wish I was one of those people who could go out and have a great social life; do things like Quizzo or clubs (and why isn't Team Pictionary/Win, Lose or Draw more popular than it actually is???), but I never really know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next. How bad my head is going to hurt, how worn out my meds are going to make me, etc. So these blogs I have are really my only connection to everyone in the outside world.
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
October 19th
You know, I thought this blog was going to be much easier than my other one. I mean, I literally have a document program up for the U2 blog and write each entry there before I post it.
Thing is, sometimes, I'm still my own worst enemy. as much as I try not to, I still second guess myself all the time. This blog is one of the ways in which I'm trying to combat that; where I'm trying to just let myself go and just let things out.
I'm trying.
Thing is, sometimes, I'm still my own worst enemy. as much as I try not to, I still second guess myself all the time. This blog is one of the ways in which I'm trying to combat that; where I'm trying to just let myself go and just let things out.
I'm trying.
Monday, September 26, 2016
My views on THE MARTIAN
So **SPOILER WARNINGS**
(but the movie and book have been out FOREVER so, yeah...)
So if you read my previous post you know about how I've recently become interested in The Martian. After having watched the movie a number of times (btw, if you can watch the extended edition, do it), and beginning to read the book, I have my own views on the underlying themes of the story. Yes there is science and how amazing things can be done with it, and what happens with exploration, but in my humble opinion, there really is a theme in this story of faith, hope and love.
I break it down by going through each one by one.
Starting with Faith. Dr. Mark Watney wakes up alone on Mars deserted by the rest of the crew after they think he died trying to get to the MAV. Does he blame them? Nope. Does he just decide to give up and die because he knows there is no way he's going to survive? Once again, no. It takes a while, but he counts his rations, and then figures out a way to survive by using his "botany powers". He doesn't give "giving up" a thought because somewhere in him, he has the faith that he is going to survive long enough to get rescued. (Vincent or Venkat depending on which version) Kapoor had the faith that the mission was going to work. The crew had faith in Lewis. Lewis had faith in the crew (I have more on them later).
Hope. There's a heck of a lot of hope in The Martian. Purcell's whole plan, even though he did all the math and it worked out, that's all hope (and faith) that it goes off without any hitches. I dare to suggest that Mindy Park is the personification of hope during half the movie (I'm still reading the book, just an FYI). The first time you meet Kapoor he is hoping to extend the Ares program, and that's just after an astronaut "died". The Ares III crew's hope that they can catch Mark despite all the problems that they kept encountering. Hope is all over the place.
So here's the big one: Love. I know most people think about love as romantic love. Yeah ok, that shows up here briefly with Johanssen and Beck (which is adorable, BTW), and probably not surprising when two single people would be in close contact together in a small group for over 3 years, but there's more kinds of love. There's a line in the bible that says, "The greatest love is to lay down your life for a friend." This is the kind of love I'm talking about. Agape. Mark wasn't mad at the rest of the crew for leaving him behind. He knew that they thought he was dead. He didn't blame them. That in itself shows love. But then there is when they decide to go back. It's unanimous. There's no dissention in the ranks. Even in the book where they have the contingency plan where if they run out of supplies they make Johanssen the "designated survivor" (ok, ok, I looked ahead, so sue me). Bringing their friend home is more important to them than their lives. THAT is love, in one of its purest forms. And back on Earth, the entire planet is united, at least for a moment, to just find out if one man was saved. There's an element of love in that as well.
So that's my take. Science made it possible for Mark Watney to make it home in The Martian, but Faith, Hope, and Love were the forces that guided them.
(but the movie and book have been out FOREVER so, yeah...)
So if you read my previous post you know about how I've recently become interested in The Martian. After having watched the movie a number of times (btw, if you can watch the extended edition, do it), and beginning to read the book, I have my own views on the underlying themes of the story. Yes there is science and how amazing things can be done with it, and what happens with exploration, but in my humble opinion, there really is a theme in this story of faith, hope and love.
I break it down by going through each one by one.
Starting with Faith. Dr. Mark Watney wakes up alone on Mars deserted by the rest of the crew after they think he died trying to get to the MAV. Does he blame them? Nope. Does he just decide to give up and die because he knows there is no way he's going to survive? Once again, no. It takes a while, but he counts his rations, and then figures out a way to survive by using his "botany powers". He doesn't give "giving up" a thought because somewhere in him, he has the faith that he is going to survive long enough to get rescued. (Vincent or Venkat depending on which version) Kapoor had the faith that the mission was going to work. The crew had faith in Lewis. Lewis had faith in the crew (I have more on them later).
Hope. There's a heck of a lot of hope in The Martian. Purcell's whole plan, even though he did all the math and it worked out, that's all hope (and faith) that it goes off without any hitches. I dare to suggest that Mindy Park is the personification of hope during half the movie (I'm still reading the book, just an FYI). The first time you meet Kapoor he is hoping to extend the Ares program, and that's just after an astronaut "died". The Ares III crew's hope that they can catch Mark despite all the problems that they kept encountering. Hope is all over the place.
So here's the big one: Love. I know most people think about love as romantic love. Yeah ok, that shows up here briefly with Johanssen and Beck (which is adorable, BTW), and probably not surprising when two single people would be in close contact together in a small group for over 3 years, but there's more kinds of love. There's a line in the bible that says, "The greatest love is to lay down your life for a friend." This is the kind of love I'm talking about. Agape. Mark wasn't mad at the rest of the crew for leaving him behind. He knew that they thought he was dead. He didn't blame them. That in itself shows love. But then there is when they decide to go back. It's unanimous. There's no dissention in the ranks. Even in the book where they have the contingency plan where if they run out of supplies they make Johanssen the "designated survivor" (ok, ok, I looked ahead, so sue me). Bringing their friend home is more important to them than their lives. THAT is love, in one of its purest forms. And back on Earth, the entire planet is united, at least for a moment, to just find out if one man was saved. There's an element of love in that as well.
So that's my take. Science made it possible for Mark Watney to make it home in The Martian, but Faith, Hope, and Love were the forces that guided them.
Yeah, I know-
I should have done this a week ago.
Anyway Saturday the 17th was my 36th birthday. It was just a little family affair, no big deal, but cool. My mom made chicken parm., grilled green beans, and a homemade cake.
I got some pretty cool things too (ok, to me they're pretty cool. I'm a dork, though, so its all relative.). My sister and brother-in-law gave me the entire series of Dr Quinn Medicine Woman which was one of my favorite shows in the 90's (yes, I know that's corny. Bring it. I'm totally ok with that.). Her mother-in-law gave me a really nice wrap sweater poncho because I'm ALWAYS cold. My mom, knowing how into The Martian I currently am, bought me the book and the special blue-ray version that has a whole extras dvd and the dvd with the theatrical and extended release (yay!).
As much as I love corny old tv shows (yes, if I see Little House when I'm surfing, I will stop and watch it and I also love Frank Capra movies), science fascinates me, even when I don't always understand it. I did well in biology in school, chemistry kicked my butt (more than once) and sometimes my brain just goes "Yeeaahh, I got no idea what you're talking about," and kind of gives up. Sometimes, though when it finds out something it latches onto that fact and is like "That's fantastic!" This is kinda why I got into the Mythbusters. There was an episode once where they were doing a myth that involved a seesaw and they talked about cranes (the machine, not that bird). Now, I never really gave them much of a thought, even though I'd always seen them around. Then they explained how they worked, (basically the cables are what enables them to be able to life and move the heavy objects around and at the heights they do) every time I saw one after for about a month I just smiled and thought "How cool."
But back to The Martian. I'll admit that the first time I saw the movie I was like, "yeah ok, this is cool," but that was it, although this is was around the Oscars the year it was nominated and we were trying to watch as many of the movies/films that were nominated that were on On Demand. Then a month or so ago it was on HBO and I thought "sure, why not" and I could not stop watching it. I don't know what changed but I got sucked in. The cast...you DUDE. Like, I can't imagine anyone else playing those characters other than the actors they got...weellll, except if they got Naveen Andrews to play Venkat Kapoor instead of Chiwetel Ejiofor to play Vincent Kapoor but that's nitpicking. Besides, Mr. Ejiofor is an AMAZING actor. Also YAY Sean Bean is a good guy! That's just a plus in this one (BTW, I tried watching GOT...too much blood. I got through the first episode and I was like "Umm...I'm not so sure about this one. I mean, I like fantasy. Dragons are awesome. Strong female characters are fantastic. Arya is cool. But the decapitation and kids falling from roofs...I don't think I can handle that. That was a hell of an aside for you. Anywho...). Matt Damon's Mark Watney is great. The funny quirky dorky but cool nerd guy. I mean, isn't there a little but of us all that's like that? I know when I'm home alone I walk around and talk to myself (when Wolfie is passed out on the couch in his cocoon of blankets he's made for himself. Seriously, if its soft, he thinks he owns it). The huge difference is that he's mad smart and saved himself from dying on a wasteland planet. Actually, without getting too philosophical (I'll save that for another post), I kind of have this theory that the whole theme of the book and movie is Faith, Hope and Love, not just Science. Science got the job done, but if it wasn't for the other three, he wouldn't have gotten home in the first place.
I guess I've bored you enough for today! lol.
Catch you later.
EDIT: Oh yeah, so I forgot to mention the cool thing that I learned so far reading The Martian was that you can die from too much oxygen. So there is is only around 20% oxygen in our atmosphere. That's what we breathe. The rest in Nitrogen (78% and change...thank you Google, because the book isn't within arms reach) and trace amounts of other gases, which also includes CO2, and Argon. So apparently, your body can't handle too much oxygen; it can freaks your body out, your lungs will fill with fluid. This link tells you all about it. You know, just in case you haven't read or don't want to read the book.
Anyway Saturday the 17th was my 36th birthday. It was just a little family affair, no big deal, but cool. My mom made chicken parm., grilled green beans, and a homemade cake.
I got some pretty cool things too (ok, to me they're pretty cool. I'm a dork, though, so its all relative.). My sister and brother-in-law gave me the entire series of Dr Quinn Medicine Woman which was one of my favorite shows in the 90's (yes, I know that's corny. Bring it. I'm totally ok with that.). Her mother-in-law gave me a really nice wrap sweater poncho because I'm ALWAYS cold. My mom, knowing how into The Martian I currently am, bought me the book and the special blue-ray version that has a whole extras dvd and the dvd with the theatrical and extended release (yay!).
As much as I love corny old tv shows (yes, if I see Little House when I'm surfing, I will stop and watch it and I also love Frank Capra movies), science fascinates me, even when I don't always understand it. I did well in biology in school, chemistry kicked my butt (more than once) and sometimes my brain just goes "Yeeaahh, I got no idea what you're talking about," and kind of gives up. Sometimes, though when it finds out something it latches onto that fact and is like "That's fantastic!" This is kinda why I got into the Mythbusters. There was an episode once where they were doing a myth that involved a seesaw and they talked about cranes (the machine, not that bird). Now, I never really gave them much of a thought, even though I'd always seen them around. Then they explained how they worked, (basically the cables are what enables them to be able to life and move the heavy objects around and at the heights they do) every time I saw one after for about a month I just smiled and thought "How cool."
But back to The Martian. I'll admit that the first time I saw the movie I was like, "yeah ok, this is cool," but that was it, although this is was around the Oscars the year it was nominated and we were trying to watch as many of the movies/films that were nominated that were on On Demand. Then a month or so ago it was on HBO and I thought "sure, why not" and I could not stop watching it. I don't know what changed but I got sucked in. The cast...you DUDE. Like, I can't imagine anyone else playing those characters other than the actors they got...weellll, except if they got Naveen Andrews to play Venkat Kapoor instead of Chiwetel Ejiofor to play Vincent Kapoor but that's nitpicking. Besides, Mr. Ejiofor is an AMAZING actor. Also YAY Sean Bean is a good guy! That's just a plus in this one (BTW, I tried watching GOT...too much blood. I got through the first episode and I was like "Umm...I'm not so sure about this one. I mean, I like fantasy. Dragons are awesome. Strong female characters are fantastic. Arya is cool. But the decapitation and kids falling from roofs...I don't think I can handle that. That was a hell of an aside for you. Anywho...). Matt Damon's Mark Watney is great. The funny quirky dorky but cool nerd guy. I mean, isn't there a little but of us all that's like that? I know when I'm home alone I walk around and talk to myself (when Wolfie is passed out on the couch in his cocoon of blankets he's made for himself. Seriously, if its soft, he thinks he owns it). The huge difference is that he's mad smart and saved himself from dying on a wasteland planet. Actually, without getting too philosophical (I'll save that for another post), I kind of have this theory that the whole theme of the book and movie is Faith, Hope and Love, not just Science. Science got the job done, but if it wasn't for the other three, he wouldn't have gotten home in the first place.
I guess I've bored you enough for today! lol.
Catch you later.
EDIT: Oh yeah, so I forgot to mention the cool thing that I learned so far reading The Martian was that you can die from too much oxygen. So there is is only around 20% oxygen in our atmosphere. That's what we breathe. The rest in Nitrogen (78% and change...thank you Google, because the book isn't within arms reach) and trace amounts of other gases, which also includes CO2, and Argon. So apparently, your body can't handle too much oxygen; it can freaks your body out, your lungs will fill with fluid. This link tells you all about it. You know, just in case you haven't read or don't want to read the book.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Sept. 7, 2016
I have a funeral I have to go to tomorrow.
Its for an uncle. Its an uncle by marriage (my uncle, my mother's sister's husband, his brother in law) but its all family. It doesn't matter if its by blood. For the rest of my family's sake, I don't give out names, because I respect their privacy.
There are two things about him, though that will last with me forever. One is how he could find a topic to talk to someone about, and you could sit there and have a great one on one conversation with him. With me it was Florida. He lived there when he was growing up, I lived there for a few years when I worked for Disney.
But the best thing I could ever say about him was that he was a hard working humble man who never let any bumps in the road get him down. Through illnesses or what have you, whenever you would say hi to him and ask "How are you?" His answer would always be a genuine, "Great." Even I can't muster that sometimes. My answer is usually "I'm okay." So..
Until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Its for an uncle. Its an uncle by marriage (my uncle, my mother's sister's husband, his brother in law) but its all family. It doesn't matter if its by blood. For the rest of my family's sake, I don't give out names, because I respect their privacy.
There are two things about him, though that will last with me forever. One is how he could find a topic to talk to someone about, and you could sit there and have a great one on one conversation with him. With me it was Florida. He lived there when he was growing up, I lived there for a few years when I worked for Disney.
But the best thing I could ever say about him was that he was a hard working humble man who never let any bumps in the road get him down. Through illnesses or what have you, whenever you would say hi to him and ask "How are you?" His answer would always be a genuine, "Great." Even I can't muster that sometimes. My answer is usually "I'm okay." So..
Until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Hi All
So I've been trying to figure out how to start this blog for a while now, and I really didn't know how to word it, so I'm just going to introduce myself.
This is me.
This is also me, as of three days ago. The actual color of my hair is more purple than pink...it was the coloring of the light in the room.
This is my dog, Wolfie (short for Wolfgang Amadeus. Yup, he's named after Mozart). One of his many nicknames, given by me, is His Royal Furriness, because he thinks he rules the house. He doesn't but he likes to think he does. Expect plenty more pictures and stories of this little fluff ball.
I'm a curious person my nature, hence the blog title.
Most likely you've stumbled on this place because you've read my U2 blog Up With The Static and The Radio. If not and you want to check it out, just follow that little link there. If not, the short story about me is I'm a gal in her mid 30's who's currently on disability because I have severe chronic migraines and Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (here is an explanation of the disease) which is currently in remission. Apparently. I have had headaches every day for the past 7 years. But hey, there are people in this world who have it a lot worse than I do, so...
Anyway, so I guess I'm just kind of a random dorky kind of person. I can totally geek out about a bunch of things (Disney, U2-obviously, the Marvel MCU, Star Wars-both before and after the Disney merger, Star Trek-and yes you CAN be a Trekkie and a Jedi at the SAME TIME, and as I'm writing this I am watching "The Martian" for the second time this week because I want to catch stuff I might have missed. Granted this is the third time I've watched it ever, but still. Side note, I'm one of those people, I can watch a movie over and over trying to find the little things in the background or what have you. Way back when I wanted to be a script supervisor or something like that on a movie set because I could pick out flubs like that when watching movies and tv shows.).
Oh yeah, I tend to ramble...I guess you figured that out, huh?
So, um...enjoy the ride.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)