April 21

I was supposed to go to the store today to pick up a few things.  But, well, it started raining this morning.

I wound up buying the things I needed online instead.


It looks like migraines and depression won another battle again today.

That Ever Present Shadow

I've been pretty good since a young age, at keeping my emotions in check.  I've had to be that way, and I've been singled out too many times when I didn't do so.  Anger has never really been a problem as I was lucky enough to have inherited my father's patience.  My issue has always been sadness, loneliness and worthlessness.  So many times guilt comes along with that.  I try to hide these feelings away so that I don't have to deal with them but inevitably, they make their way to the top again.  Its always bound to happen.

And now I found out after talking to one of my numerous doctors(my psychiatrist) this morning that at least two of my medications (I take 5 different ones regularly, 7 if you count the two I take when the migraines get really bad) are adding to the depression.  To tell you the truth, it sounds like just my luck.  I keep smacking into brick walls my whole body is metaphorically bruised.

Right, Okay,

You know, I started this blog so I would have a place to put all my random little thoughts out in the world.  That I could share my little brand of weird if anyone wanted to check it out.

...and then my head and anxiety got in the way again.

*sigh*

So lets try this again.

I'm just going to try to not over think it too much.  But I'm not going to post about all the dark stuff (especially political) that has been going on all around us unless there is no other choice.  I'm going to say one thing here right now.

You want to know who I voted for?  In the primaries I voted for Bernie Sanders.  I am usually an Independent but because of the state that I live in I had to change my party so I could vote for him to Democrat.  I'm really an Independent, though.  I support the ONE Campaign, (Product)RED (when I have the money to purchase the items that is.), No DAPL, etc, so you can guess who I voted for last November.  I'm not going to lie, I still wish Bernie had been on the ballot, but he wasn't.

Anyway, that's the last about politics I'm going to say here unless I don't have a choice.  I want this to be a place where people can go to have a smile put on their face, even if it might be at my expense.

So, in light of that, here's a story of my "stellar" gracefulness:

A few years ago, around Christmas, my mom and I were at the supermarket.  Now, my balance was ok before I got sick, but because of the meds I take, sometimes I lose it a little because it messes up my equilibrium.

 So we are standing towards the end of an aisle looking at our list. I feel my balance going so I step backwards to catch myself and wind up stepping back into a tower made of canisters of fried onions.
Yup, all of them were suddenly all over the floor behind me; like, 40 of them. I thought things like that only happened in sitcoms!  My mom was standing there shaking her head and there's me with the grocery worker re-stacking cans all the time with me saying "sorry," and trying not to turn red.

At least I didn't break something this time!

New Years

At the beginning of every year, we're always making resolutions only to forget about them by the time February roles around.  

So this year, I have decided that instead I am going to just do better; to be better.  None of us in the world are perfect and we can always do something to improve ourselves in one way or another, but so often we put these stipulations on ourselves that we then find we can never live up to.

So you know, instead, just strive to do better.  At least that's what I'm going to do for 2017.